Love

My husband is a god. I don’t know how I got so lucky. He appears to be a normal man, all the right body parts and all the regular farts and burps. He even has his faults, like being stubborn and impatient (faults I share with him). But for all that, he’s an amazing man.

I first fell in love with him as a partner. Children were not something I thought were in the cards for me and I’d given up on that aspect of life. So when I fell for this man, it was because of who he was and what he offered as a lover. I fell in love with his kindness, this enormous heart of his that surprises me with it’s intensity. I fell in love with his humor (although I tell him all the time he’s not funny), his ability to bring joy into even the most mundane situation.

When we found out I was pregnant, I was given the great honor of falling in love with him as a parent. He would read books to my swelling belly, wiped tears when he heard the first heartbeat, and swore under his breath “oh balls” when we found out we were having a boy. Since the kids have arrived I’ve fallen even more in love with this man, their father, who is occasionally stubborn and impatient, but is also kind and hilarious.

When we decided to get married I got to fall in love with him as a husband. A man who is constantly trying to improve himself, who is always putting me first even when I don’t recognize it right away. A man who is equally up for adventure or another day on the homestead. There seems to be no end to his ability to awe and inspire me and his gift for seeing things as they could be is one I’ve come to envy and attempt to emulate.

These last few weeks in quarantine have been wonderful. Yes, the stress and the fear and and and (he’s immunocompromised, so there is a lot of fear). Getting to see him interact with the boys every day has been the absolute best thing ever. Being nearby to pop in and steal a kiss or drop off a smoothie or let him know the family dance party was starting in three minutes…I wouldn’t trade any of this for the world.

My strongest hope is that we continue to appreciate one another, to grow and evolve together, to keep sculpting this incredible family we’ve created. I want to wake up in thirty years, roll over and watch the sunrise with him. From making coffee for me in the morning (he doesn’t drink the stuff) to bringing up wood for the fire each night. From bringing me tea when I’m at the computer to grilling up steaks for dinner. From taking the baby in the morning so I can get another hour or three of sleep to taking out the trash.

I want to appreciate all the little things, because they’re really very big. The little things are the things a life is built upon. The things a love grows from. The things that make you fall in love.