Author: sundaydutro

Burgeoning author.
5 Minute Stretch

5 Minute Stretch

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“if you proceed, you will change things”

The choice is simple, she imagines, I go forward or I don’t. I take the risk or I stay safe.

The fortune from her uneaten cookie leers up at her mockingly: If you proceed, you will change things.”

No shit, she thinks to herself before sighing.

What’s the worst that can happen, she wonders. If I go forward with this plan, if I take the risk, I could fail. And that will be a little embarrassing, sure but is that it? I’ll lose a little money, too…roughly a couple hundred bucks…which I can’t exactly afford right now. Still….

She rubs her hands across her eyes, her forehead, back around to her neck. Taking a deep breath she contemplates when happens if she doesn’t move forward: she’ll always be stuck in a job she hates…even if she changes jobs. There’s no such thing as a job she would love. She knows this, she’s tried tons of them, has friends in jobs she’d never considered or even heard of in some instances. She knows she’d hate their jobs too.

That’s the thing that gets her moving, not the possibility of failure, but the fear of never having tried to create something other than what she already knows is waiting for her. She’s a coward.

And yet, everyone calls her brave. She tells people what she’s doing, more out of nervousness than pride; and every last one of them tells her how brave she is. She laughs, if they only knew…

5 Minute Stretch Exercises are a creation of Laura Munson and were learned at Haven Writing Retreats. Write for five minutes, no corrections or stopping.
This prompt was taken from The Writing Life, by Annie Dillard.

Dreams

Making Dreams Come True

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My dreams are starting to come true and I’m pinching myself to be sure I’m awake.

The thing is, my dreams aren’t just magically coming true, I’m working my bootie off to make them happen. But because all the work is paying off, which seems like magic, it’s easy to think this is all happening to me, or for me, and not because of me. And because some people have been asking me what I’ve been doing to get where I am now, I thought I’d share.

Social Media

Social media is the biggest time suck ever. If you’re writing or doing any sort of creating really, you can’t afford to waste time on social media. Read that again. You can’t afford to waste time on social media. You have to have social media though. Have to. So, pick your least dreaded poison and get cracking. I started with Facebook because I already had a personal account and knew how it worked and was already on there twice a day (or more) anyway. Pick a social media that compliments your work if you can (ie: visual artists = Instagram, writers = Threads, etc.)

You are going to create a business profile, even if you have a personal profile, and you are going to make your business profile legit with a recognizable picture of you and all your pertinent contact details. And then you are going to make a note in your calendar or whatever you use to keep track of your daily tasks: social media twice a day (minimum).

And then you’re going to engage: post and comment, follow and like. Whatever the tools of the social you picked, you’re going to use them. Find and follow every creator that you already know and love. Then start seeing who engages with them and follow them, too. You’re going to make a minimum of two posts a day: once in the morning when you get up, and once at night before you go to bed. I suggest you also put up a post in the middle of the day, when you break for lunch or to stretch or what have you. Bathroom breaks are an excellent way to multi-task.

Genuinely engage. Don’t be grudging or depressing or negative. Be you at your best…and at your worst: as long as it’s real.

Website

Create a free website using any of the many free tolls out there. I used WordPress because at the time it had the most integrations, the least glitches, the best conversion to multiple devices (phone, tablet, etc). Use the same profile picture from social on your website (consistency is key, especially when you’re just getting started). Your website should reflect your art as best as possible. And try to blog a minimum of once a month, though once a week when you’re getting started is best. This is going to be a crazy long blog today…most of mine are shorter, as are most peoples free slots of time. Make sure there is a way to contact you and eventually you may want to have a newsletter signup, but that can wait in the beginning.

Resources

Google resources for people in your craft. I live in Montana and I’m a writer so when I was trying to find resources I did tons of different searches using different terms, ie: writing retreats in Montana, writing workshops near me, grants for writers, etc. Then start looking into those resources. Are there any that interest you? Even if it’s something you can’t afford right now, track all the possibilities…especially the ones that seem impossible. Use a spreadsheet or a list or something to track all these things, and try to add to the list as you hear of new opportunities.

Dream

Create wild bucket lists and vision boards. Add every single possible thing that brings you joy. Create reward lists and goal lists. Create a wins list! One person I’ve met literally celebrates EVERY win and reminds themselves to celebrate those tiny and big wins every year. Take a free calendar and mark down every milestone in your journey on the day you do it so that you can celebrate it every year (ie: three years ago today I went on my first Writing Retreat, etc.).

Do

Now comes the hard part: do. You need to do something with this website, this social media, these lists of resources and dreams. No one is going to come knock on your door and ask if they can make all your dreams come true. It’s up to you. So pick one of your resources, even if it’s one you think you’re not ready for or can’t afford, and make contact. Find out how much it is, find out if they have a sliding scale or give a scholarship or have a payment plan. Keep track of everything you learn about each opportunity. Make note of any other programs or opportunities that are mentioned and follow up on those as well. Find something to aim for and determine the path to achieving it.

Craft

And don’t forget your actual craft. If you’re a writer you need to log hours writing. You can’t edit a blank page. You can’t publish a sentence that hasn’t been written yet. Get to crafting and do it every day. Every artists does this part differently but every successful artist gets the same result: tangible product. Yes, dreaming and reading and walking and scrolling are all part of your craft, but they’re all the behind the scenes bits that no one can pay you for. You also must create something tangible to work with and eventually sell.

Whatever your practice is, make it happen every day. Sick, raining, grumpy, doesn’t matter; show up for yourself and your craft every day. I get up every morning between 4:30am and 5am and I write a minimum of 1,000 words while the household sleeps. It’s the only time I can create completely undisturbed, and even then I sometimes get interrupted by a kid that wet the bed or a dog that needs to be let out to chase a deer. Create your time, create your space, and create your minimum acceptable goal for each day and then DO IT!

Irons in the Fire

And now, the last thing, and it may feel overwhelming but it’s huge: you’ve got to have a lot of irons in the fire. For example, as a writer I need to publish and because I’ve never been published I’m a risk and an asset. I wrote a bunch of short stories before changing trajectory to write my memoir on miscarriage. In the meantime those stories need a home, so I started sending them out for publication. When one was rejected I’d send it somewhere else. When a publisher asked me to send them something else to look at, I did. Always keep things out in the world no matter what your medium.

Always be researching the opportunities available to you and apply for them. At one point I had an application in to a Grant Program, a Writing Workshop, a Foundation Prize, and a few other things all at the same time…it was a lot to juggle and a lot to have constant high hopes for. It’s also a lot of things that can all say yes to you and your craft at the same time and be a huge windfall that gets your creative ball rolling.

There’s some barfingly true quote from a hockey pro that’s something like: you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

Take the shot. Always.

Breathe

You’ve got this. You can do it. The only people unsuccessful at this are the people waiting for it to happen to them. If you’re making it happen, it will happen. The Universe gets behind you, or god, or something. Whatever you want to call it, it’s powerful. And keep in mind, if you’re pushing really hard for something and it’s not working, you may be pushing for the wrong thing. Back off a bit, start pushing for something else. Sometimes a door is closed because it’s the wrong door. Do your best, and then be willing to do your best again, somewhere else.

Remember to breathe, cause it’s gonna be an amazing roller coaster and you don’t want to miss the ride.

5 Minute Stretch

5 Minute Stretch

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“a skylight over my bed”

It’s something I’ve always wanted, something my brother had growing up: a skylight over my bed. In my brother’s case, we called his room The Moon Room, because he could see the moon through his skylight. I don’t remember it myself, only hearing about it all my life, a sort of memory for me through the stories of others such that it becomes hard to untangle the truth from the fiction.

At any rate, I’ve always wanted a skylight over my bed, a way to see the stars at night, the moon. Only I don’t want a little skylight, the common skylight seen at massive warehouse DIY stores where the employees wear blue or orange and don’t have any better idea how to do things that I do, but are trained to listen for key words and then direct you down an aisle.

What I want is custom. What I want is a room of glass, a room where everywhere you look you see the outside, so much so that the outside comes in, so much so that I’ll regret it in summer and in winter, the punishment of letting Nature into such close proximity.

Someday, maybe.

Until then, I go outside for my fix of stars. The white swath of The Milky Way Galaxy which I can both see and recognize that we’re somehow a part of. A conundrum, like memories and stories. Like a skylight that was never mine, that I don’t remember but have always wanted.

5 Minute Stretch Exercises are a creation of Laura Munson and were learned at Haven Writing Retreats. Write for five minutes, no corrections or stopping.
This prompt was taken from Waltzing the Cat, by Pam Houston.

5 Minute Stretch

5 Minute Stretch

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“a fine line between precision and self-indulgence”

“There’s a fine line between precision and self-indulgence,” she says, looking smugly at me.

If only she knew she was right, that line has been made all the finer by her self-indulgent communications. Speaking to me but really speaking to herself, the same way she makes love, creates a sandwich, answers the phone…as though everything is really about her, especially when it is.

She calls her movements, her communication, her fucking “precise.” And I suppose it is. She has an expectation, she has a need, a desire, and this force that is her self must be satisfied. Still…while it’s dizzying at first, sucking you in, gracing you with it’s ethereal existence, time makes it grating, jarring, fucking annoying.

I could say “shut up,” but I don’t. I could simply walk out, walk away, move on with my life free from her pull…but I don’t. I can’t. Not really. But I can only put up with so much of this….

5 Minute Stretch Exercises are a creation of Laura Munson and were learned at Haven Writing Retreats. Write for five minutes, no corrections or stopping.
This prompt was taken from Writing Down the Bones, by Natalie Goldberg.

Writing Prompt Winner: Kim Pitts

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July 2023: Kim Pitts

“Mom is Pacing”

My Mom is pacing. Inside, a intiny voice says, “make it better” because I have been trying my whole life. That tiny voice also says, “you aren’t good enough : “ because I actually cannot do that. Then, a bigger voice, not quite as well used, but growing ever more recognizable says, “that’s not your job”. So I sit, thinking a part of me wants to make it better, a part of me wants to finally be able to acknowledge that it isn’t my job, and a new emerging patr of me struggles because it has to make a distinction between the two. Her sadness, I cannot make better. Her depression, I cannot make better. Her grief, I cannot make better. Not because I am unable, but because it was not my job. And to that tiny voice, I say, “I’m so sorry that you thought it ever was.”

Kim Pitts is a writer and compassionate humorist. Her unique and traumasaurus rex sized ability to turn awful situations into beautiful, hilarious stories of pure humanity can be found on Facebook and Instagram as My Life is The Pitts Family.

Attending Haven I Writing Retreat: The Takeaway

Attending Haven I Writing Retreat: The Takeaway

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If you missed Part Three, you can read it here.

Based on everything I’d ever heard or read about writing retreats, I expected to have a room to write in, food made available three times a day, the end. I expected to be at a retreat for x number of days writing. Then go home. Honestly, with two little boys and two dogs and five cats and four chickens and a husband…a few days of being left entirely alone to write and being fed sounds quite lovely. But that’s not what Haven is.

Workshopping Outside
Workshopping Outside

It’s not what it isn’t either. There’s tons of writing at Haven. You write for hours in the morning class, and in the afternoons in your “free” time. And if you’re like me, you woke up early and wrote before class and again in the evening at the end of the day. There was one day where the writing from morning class extended into an outdoor workshop of more writing and reading. There was no shortage of writing happening at Haven.

Reading Outside
Reading Outside

Some afternoons before dinner we’d sit outside and take turns reading poetry or letters. There was as much reading at Haven as writing. A thing I’d not expected but am grateful for.

Selfie
Selfie

And yes, I got to meet live and in person, multiple New York Times Bestselling author Laura Munson, which is a fabulous honor. She taught me some amazing practices, alerted me to some phenomenal ways of seeing, and is solely responsible for my turning a short story into a memoir. I will always be grateful for all of that.

Haven Mavens
Haven Mavens

But the reason I went to Haven, the reason I got so much out of the experience, the reason I still can’t stop thinking about it is: the women. The women I worked with at Haven and continue to meet with weekly to discuss our work, are absolutely phenomenal.

I’d gone to Haven thinking I needed the experience to define me as a writer. If I got feedback that what I was doing was good, then I’d keep going and try to make a living out of it.

I’d gone to Haven thinking I needed the validation of having attended a retreat to define me as a writer. If I’ve never gone to a writing retreat how can I possibly call myself a writer?

I’d gone to Haven thinking that if I was really lucky, I’d get a group of writer friends to help discuss all the writerly things with. If I didn’t have a writers group to commiserate with, I wasn’t a writer.

All of that is bullshit.

It turns out that while I got an education at Haven I never could have gotten anywhere else, the most important thing I got from attending are these friends. We call ourselves the Haven Mavens and we meet weekly via Zoom to discuss all things writing. They are the women I contact when I’m excited about a grant I’m applying for or a short story I submitted for publication or I’m frustrated and stuck with my work in progress.

I went to Haven for unnecessary and ridiculous validation. I left Haven with a tribe.

5 Minute Stretch

5 Minute Stretch

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“you go back and begin again”

There was nothing for it. She’d given it her best shot, done all the things, tried all the pleas, and nothing was changing. Nothing was getting better. There was nothing for it then but to go back and begin again. Only not with this person, not in this situation, not in this life.

She would go back to the last time she remembered being happy, being confident, being free. She would sell off everything and return to Europe. To the train and the sights and sounds of new realities with every waking. Perhaps this time she wouldn’t get violently ill between Turkey and Romania. Perhaps this time she wouldn’t get stuck in the hostel of the masseuse who thought all white women were from Australia. Perhaps this time she would respond to one of the “Aussie Girl! Hey, Aussie Girl!” taunts with a direct “Feck off!” instead of picking up her pace, averting her eyes, scuttling like a crab.

It wouldn’t take long to regain her long stride despite her short legs, to regain her erect posture despite the weight of the backpack she carried, to regain her confidence, her assurance, her truth. It wouldn’t take long before she’d begin again, back in that place where solitude felt like company.

5 Minute Stretch Exercises are a creation of Laura Munson and were learned at Haven Writing Retreats. Write for five minutes, no corrections or stopping.
This prompt was taken from Letters to a Young Writer, a speech by Colum McCann.

5 Minute Stretch

5 Minute Stretch

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“sometimes the things I did really didn’t work”

It surprises me, it really does. I always think I have such great ideas, but somewhere along the way, they fail. Somewhere between A and B there’s this mid-way sort of bump in the road or something and suddenly, this idea, this thing I was so sure of, just doesn’t work.

Like time travel, for example. I was sure I had time travel down. I’m a physisist after all and I’ve studied all the science and even the Hollywood pseudo-science (which really is just plain voodoo but makes for good couch potato sessions). So anyway, I know what’s what and how it could all work, in real life, not in the movies.

I was sure I could go back a year, not long in the grand scheme of things, and therefore much easier, much more obtainable, doable. If I could just go back that one year I could change thing just enough, just that small twerk to make it so that my dad didn’t have to die. I mean, eventually he’d die, we all die eventually, but then, at that moment, it was preventable. And I was going to back and prevent it.

Only it didn’t work. The time travel. I mean, it kinda worked. I was able to jump back to a month ago, then to six months ago, then to three months ago. But it was all chaos. I never knew when I’d be jumping back to or for how long. It sometimes took me as long to recognize when in time I was as it would have taken me to do anything about it. But it should have worked, and even though I learned a little more each time, I wasn’t getting where I needed to be, I wasn’t getting to where

5 Minute Stretch Exercises are a creation of Laura Munson and were learned at Haven Writing Retreats. Write for five minutes, no corrections or stopping.
This prompt was taken from Make Good Art, a speech by Neil Gaiman.